Commuter Blues

Took a break from my overload of homework (apparently I had to read FOUR books of The Odyssey over the weekend. Do you know how many pages that is!?) so I can blog.

Today's topic: commuterness.


For those who don't know me personally--or at all, for that matter--I'm a college commuter. Even more so, I'm not a commuter who drives--I'm a commuter who takes two buses for one hour, going and coming to school. When the days are really chilly, I have some friends who are willing to help me out by driving me (thanks Nick and Jessica!), but for the most part, I have been a bus commuter. And until I get my license and car stuff figured out, I will probably continue taking the bus more often than not.

But anyways, maybe I'm not the only commuter with a "sob story." Mine goes something like this (the beginning's a little boring):

Every morning I wake up--around 20 or a quarter to 7 AM. My first impulse is to fall back asleep. However, because I live at home, and because my mom drives me to the station so I don't have to take 3 buses, I have to wake up at this time. Therefore, I drag myself out of bed and begin the morning routine. The task that seems to take the most time is picking out a complete outfit, since I don't do that the night before like I used to in high school. After I pick out this outfit, I put it on in stages, often doing other things in between putting various articles of clothing on--such as making sure my books are packed, and so on. After I brush my teeth, I bundle up in multiple layers, put on my scarf and gloves, and head out into the cold. My mom drops me off at the station, giving me the usual "Have a good day, I love you, God bless you." I reciprocate all these statements before closing the car door. Then I walk, sometimes jog, to my first bus, the 12 select. I put my card in the machine, grab the receipt, and wait to get on the bus. Sometimes I wait in the cold for the bus to arrive.

After sitting on this bus for awhile, I eventually get off at Botanical Gardens. Then I cross the overpass and walk over to the Bronx Zoo side, where I catch the 9. The place where this stop is located is a wind tunnel, and it can get very cold. The 9 is usually crowded or almost crowded by the time I get on. There's usually a ton of public school kids from Marble Hill on the bus. The 9 gets very crowded in the morning. The bus driver often has to yell at people to "move to the rear of the bus." The 9 bus ride takes up the bulk of my commute, and I'm on it for about 40 minutes. When I get off the 9 by Van Cortlandt, I have one of two options--walk up the Horan and East Hill Hill, or walk another block and take the stairs by the library, opposite the parking garage. I usually opt for the latter option nowadays. I climb the stairs rather slowly, given the fact that I have the book bag and I'm out of shape and don't want to expel all my energy and breath on stair-climbing (this was more difficult last semester when my bag was heavier and I didn't have a locker). Once I get to the top of the steps, I go on the elevator to get up to quad level. Then I walk out of the elevator, down the ramp, and plop myself in the middle of the stairs in front of Smith, where I eat my Cheerios and stare at people who walk by. I usually do this as long as it's not cold enough for my fingers to get frostbite.

Last semester, my earliest class was at 9:05. This semester it's at 11:15. If class isn't starting yet, I usually go to the library and hang there for awhile. When I do get to class, I must admit, I sort of envy the people who can roll out of bed and go to class in their pjs. While it's not very stylish, it is very accepted in college.

(I'm getting tired of hearing the iCarly theme song coming from the living room.)

So...anyway...when I decide it's time I "eat lunch," I pull a nutrigrain bar out of my bookbag and eat it. It may not be a sandwich, but it's somewhat substantial. Given my nomadic way of life, I like to carry my food with me, as opposed to eating the not-so-desirable school food. I could bring a sandwich from home, but by the time I eat it, the bread is too moist, and the inside of the sandwich is...I don't know. Not so great.

I usually pack 3 things to eat throughout the day, but I still often times feel hungry. So I may go to one of the illustrious cafeterias on my campus and swipe my ACD card for a bag of chips. Or chocolate. Or something...

When classes are done, I have the option to either go home right away or hang in the library for a bit. Last semester I hung out in people's dorms, but that ended when I...left the friednship group, sorta. In the library I'd often see the same people from time to time. This semester, though, that doesn't seem to be the case.

So it's kind of lonely for me. I'm friendly with quite a few people, and I say a whole bunch of hellos throughout the day, but I don't have people that I can count on being there--whether due to scheduling conflicts, or simply the fact that they don't want to go all the way to the library (which isn't that far) to see me.

And let's face, a lot of people probably don't want to hang out with me.

They probably prefer the people they dorm with, eat dinner with, and see all the time.

And last semester, this was a bit of an issue for me: coming in the next day, and listening to my dorming friends tell funny stories about the night before. Or hearing that they watched a movie together. Or watching a vid on facebook of one of them blowing out the birthday cake someone had given them after I left to go home.

Speaking of going home, that commute is kind of lonely. It's dark (or almost dark) when I leave, especially in winter. I wait for the 9, get off near Bronx zoo, and then catch the 12. I sit on the bus with no one to talk to. Normally i just listen to music, which i also do in the morning. When I finally get off the 12, I get in my mom's car, and she usually says this:

"Hello. How was your day?"

I reply, "It was gooood." In other words, it wasn't really that good. more often than not, I have mediocre days.

I still want that good, steady friendship group. Will I ever get one?

I want friends that I can hang out with outside of the campus as well, not just on the campus. Maybe go over to Van Cortlandt, or to a museum on a saturday. If my dorming friends get tired of dorm food, they could even come to my house for my mom's meatloaf...I promise, she makes really good meatloaf....

*Sigh* But I often have trouble making and keeping friends. And when I do keep them, most don't take the friendship as seriously as I do. I want people to care about my existence. I want people to take me seriously. I want people to care how I feel. I want people to want to include me in things.

*Sigh*

But the story of my life seems to be that I'm often alone. I didn't have many real friends growing up in public school, and during my middle school years at that atrocious catholic elementary school, the girls I hung out with weren't really my friends, they mostly tolerated me out of pity. And I tolerated them because I had NO ONE. In high school, it took me a while, but eventually I had a group of friends.

But things change, and over time, most people forget about me, and I forget about them. It just seems easier that way.

But I don't want college to be like my other school experiences. I want friends--not just a friend, but a group, so we can hang out together! I want people to play frisbee with, and shoot nerf guns at, and to sit on my quad blankie with.

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!?

But anyway, what's the point. I complain for nothing.

People often ask me how I like the whole commuter thing. My response can vary, but for this entry, I'll say:

"It sucks. Well, it's not TOO bad. I mean, i get to eat real food, and I have my own room, and I can get away from the campus when I want to. But at the same time, the people who dorm seem to be closer. And it seems like they have more fun. No, I'm not even talking about the drinking/partying/sex with a million partners fun. That's not fun. That's stupidity. I'm talking about evening study groups, and playing pranks on the dorm room across the hall, and writing on the dry erase board every night, and being able to take things slow and savor the college experience, instead of rushing to and from campus every day. These people get to sleep more than I do, and be around their friends, and be away from their family and be more 'independent.'"

=[

-Nicole-