Fake Nails

(Afterthought: this entry wasn't as exciting as I would have liked it to be. Fail.)
When I was on the bus today, I noticed this woman whom I had seen on the bus before.

It seems that she always wears eyeshadow up to her brow line and she has very, very long fake nails.

Too long. How does she type? How does she pick her nose?

Anyway.

Why do people even find fake nails beautiful? I mean, sure, the designs are nice, but couldn't you just get your real nails done like that?

I remember when I was a kid, my mom wouldn't even let me use nail polish. When I was in first grade, there was this girl named Jessica who used to wear nail polish in really conspicuous colors. Eventually, after much nagging, my mom let me use nail polish that was very, very light pink. Almost a nude color. My sister usually polished her nails baby blue.

When I was in fifth grade, the principal decided to make a school rule regarding fake nails. She forbade it. Believe it or not, though, scabs of girls were wearing them.

WHY!?

I tried using fake nails once a few years ago. I put the glue on the nail and stuck it to my thumb. A few minutes later I decided I didn't like how it felt. I then had to exert a lot of effort to get the nail off. In the end, I decided it was best not to try putting on the rest of the nails.

"Fake nails" is one of those things on the very long list of "Lame Items Women Use for Vain Reasons." I'd like to add Bumpits and Smooth Away to this list. "Smooth Away" is a nice way of saying, "I'm too lazy to use an actual razor." Besides, I hear Smooth Away doesn't smooth anything.