FREEDOM! (And what I learned this semester)

Hey, everyone. So today is my first day of break. Yesterday I took my last final (stats), and I am SO glad my first semester of college is over.


(As you may have noticed, there is music playing in the background. If you want to turn off the music, scroll all the way down to the bottom. Also, I put some stuff in the sidebar. Don't worry--I don't plan on myspacing this blog. Although, I would like a more creative layout/template/background.)

Thankfully, the break is going to be nice and longish--I don't start the Spring semester until January 25th. (I like those words--"spring semester." I can't wait for warmer weather. We just had snow here last night!) Next semester, I'll be taking Roots of History, Roots of Psychology, Classical Origins, Nature + Experience of Religion, and my second semester of Italian.

This has been a quick semester. I remember during the first two weeks of college, walking up the hill in front of Horan after my commute and stepping onto the quad. I was a starry-eyed freshman. I was all, "Wow...college...look at that tree...."

Of course, I was also thrilled at the fact that there were guys there. Having just graduated from an all-girl catholic high school, it was refreshing to be around guys at school again. In fact, in the beginning, I almost always hung out with guys. Girls can be catty and annoying sometimes.

Over time, though, i did make some friends that were girls. And I'm glad, actually, because at least girls can empathize with you--especially when it's that time of the month.

Here are the top things I've learned this semester:

1. [How imperfect I am]--Sometimes, as a Christian, it can be all too easy to get caught up in a proud way of thinking, like, "Oh, I'm a Christian, and they're not. I don't do x, y and z, and they do. Therefore, I am better." I'm usually not one to think I'm better than other people. Sometimes, though, that way of thinking can creep up on you when you hear of what others do on the weekends. Thing is, though, me being a Christian does not make me any better than the guy that has sex with 10 girls in 2 months. I am saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8,9). This means that it is NOT by me "being a good person," but by me believing in Christ. And guess what? I'm not perfect. No one is. I mess up ALL THE TIME. I'm still trying to grow in my relationship with God--but I need His help, His strength. And I need to repent--to turn away from the stupid things I keep doing. And this semester, I've made a lot of mistakes. And I keep realizing more and more that I'm a human.

2. [Never overstay your welcome]--Most of my friends were guys. Most of them were engineers. Most of them dormed. And of course, me being a commuter, I had a very nomadic way of traveling--my bookbag was not only obnoxious in appearance, but heavy. So there were times when i just wanted a place to drop my stuff, and I would stop by one of my friends' dorm rooms. Or, if I just wanted to hang out there, I would. I often stayed with the guys, in their dorm rooms. In the beginning, we were all cool. But, as Mark Twain says, "Familiarity breeds contempt." As people got to know me better, as I kept coming around, as my quirks, low self-esteem, and other personality flaws became known, this started getting tense. For me, anyway. Ok, maybe tense is the wrong word. But I felt like the guys didn't want me there anymore. Perhaps they didn't care either way--but what I wanted--what I craved--was company and friendship. Once things got bad between me and one of the guys, I decided to separate myself from the whole group. I haven't hung out on the first floor of Jasper since then. And I haven't gone to the seventh floor of East Hill either. Guys are strange--sometimes, it's best to be more aloof. Keep your distance. Hold them at arm's length. Even just in cases of friendship--because if you come on too strong, especially if it's too quick, they are most likely going to get either annoyed or tired of you quickly. Maybe even both.

3. [I don't know everything!]--I really don't. Sometimes I wish i did, but I don't. And it's ok. I don't have to know or understand everything. As long as God is in control, what should I care?

4. [Have a mixed group of friends]--Don't hang out with just guys or just girls. Have friends of both genders. If you're an athlete, don't limit yourself by hanging out with just athletes. Then again, I'm not an athlete. I know a lot of people on a "hello, how are you?" basis. I'm still looking for a good, steady friendship group, though.

5. [It's better to start your commute earlier]--Again, with the commuterness. But this is important. The earliest class I had this semester was English at 9 AM. I had it Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (by the way, if it's spelled "wed-nes-day," then why do we pronounce it "wenzday?") Anyway, I was pretty good about getting up early in the beginning of the semester. But as it wore on, my wake up time went from 6:30 to 6:45. I take the 2 buses to school--and sometimes, instead of taking the first bus that comes for the second part of my commute, I wait for the next bus, so I can get a seat. Usually, I'd get to campus with at least 15 minutes to spare. But there were times when I would wait for a vacant-seat bus, and I would have to rush to get to English on time--or a few minutes late. Moral? Best to start early, leave the house before 7:30, and take the first bus that comes. That way I'm not trying to run with a heavy bookbag.

6. [I need to better manage my time]--My early morning routine would have been quicker if I had picked out my outfit the night before. I should have used the gaps between my classes to study and do homework--if not all the gaps, at least one or two.

7. [Don't waste time]--goes along with why i deleted my Facebook. And time is a precious and finite resource. We can't get it back. I want to LIVE LIFE to the FULLEST. So, if I better manage my time, that should help me not waste it.

8. [Sometimes, I need to just get out of the library...]--I spent SO much time in the library this semester--especially after I stopped dorm-visiting. Sometimes I can get tired of a place, though, and seeing the same people all the time--as much as I like hanging with my friends. But I want mobility. I want to go to new places and meet new people and have new experiences. And stuffs.

9. ["Preach the Gospel at all times, use words if necessary."--Francis of Assisi]--"Actions speak louder than words." That said, one thing I've learned is that arguing about what I believe is not going to get me anywhere. I can speak about my faith in conversation. If God is convicting me to talk to someone about my beliefs, then I should. But if I'm just trying to win a fight over whose beliefs are right, I'm just digging myself a ditch. It's best that I focus on behaving the way i should, and trying to love everyone the way God loves them.

10. [I need to get my driver's license ASAP]--There's a difference between commuters who take public transportation and commuters that drive to school. I would feel a greater sense of freedom and independence if I were able to drive myself to and from school, leaving when i want to. Of course, I'd have to share the car with my mom. Still, it seems better than what I have now.

So, yeah. That's it for now. I just baked cookies. :)

~Nicole~